| Me in Maui |
[Mar. 9th, 2007|02:25 pm] |
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So I have the day off here in Maui and I have wasted all my time in doors... go fig! I am enjoying a very nice Oreo cookie blast...and yes it is delicious. The end. |
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| time to take a breath |
[Jan. 29th, 2007|01:49 pm] |
I'm basically posting something quick to let people know I'm still alive. It seems my internet access wasn't as convenient as I first anticipated...thus the lack of updates. This added to the fact that I am in the salon 12 hours a day doesn't help. The benefit of being so busy is that the time is just flying by. I've been on board the ship now for two months and I can't believe it. I'll be back home in no time, (early June).
Matthew is planning to come out and see men within the next few weeks and I can't wait. I've been getting plans together for all the activities we will be doing. volcano explorations, hikes, whale watching, zip line rides in the forrest and of course the nude beach!
More to come once the adventure begins! |
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| Finally on board!!! |
[Dec. 9th, 2006|03:23 pm] |
Ok, after more than half an hour now of being in the middle of a post and losing my connection for the third time, I am truly Peeved. Argh!
So I am on the ship for almost a week now and it seems like a month.I have been running like crazy going back and forth from orientations and actual work in the salon. I really only know how to get from my cabin to work and the buffet. I share a cabin and it is pretty tight. But the fun thing is I get the top bunk! Everyone has been really nice and welcoming. The Spa staff went out to the ship night club on thursday to have a welcom party for me and it was so fun. It was Ship N' Male's night. which is our version of Chip N' Dale's where actuall crew members are the Male dancers. The old ladies were going crazy. I can't believe how ravenous they where, it was quite entertaining. I really miss home right now. It's not the same having all the Christmas stuff around and no cold weather or snow. One girl here from the spa is from connifer Colorado, so we get to vent to one another. I'm not sure if I'm cut out for sea life, and I may end my contract earlier than the 6 months. I need to be rid of my debt first, so no decisions until that time. Next week we will be at full capacity for passengers so that's when I will really see what work is like here. Fingers crossed that all goes well. |
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| Nearly There!!! |
[Dec. 3rd, 2006|02:11 pm] |
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Well, all of my training buddies have finally been shipped off to sea... It's bittersweet for me because I have to wait another week here all by myself, but at least I'll be on board soon enough! I can wait to be on board and have total access to the internet anytime I want!!! Hooray for me. I'm sure the next time I post I will be staring at the vast ocean around me! Until then. |
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| Things looking up! |
[Nov. 12th, 2006|03:29 pm] |
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So I am going to the north shore today to see the really massive waves and surfers. Apparently this is like a major place for serious and fatal injuries. I however will not be venturing into the water, just spectating. I've made a few friends at work and we've been spending some time together away from the spa and it has been a blast. I'm mostly smiles, and it helps so much that I can get mobile phone reception here and am able to hear familiar voices. |
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| ALOHA!!! |
[Nov. 8th, 2006|09:54 pm] |
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It is now my fourth day in Hawaii, and I am starting to adjust. My first day here was quite the shocker. I arrived at the airport and caught a taxi to my hotel....well the YMCA, which is far from a hotel...pretty much a step above a hostel. all the run down "charm" minus the roaches. (thank God). I pretty much do all I can to avoid the place aside from going to bed there. I have to share the bathroom with everyone on my floor, much like a high school locker room, and there is no air conditioning. So on my first night I decided to go for a walk and check out Honolulu. It was getting more and more depressing as i passed by one run down building after the next and several homeless people. I was really starting to doubt my decision when I finally hit the shopping area. There were so many high end shops that I knew I would never set foot in simply because of price and intimidation. Chanel, Hermes, Louis Vitton, Coach, Armani...etc. I made it to Waikiki beach just in time to see the sunset and it really was a reassuring sight to see. Once I make it through the trying few weeks of training and set out to sea I think all will be alright. My work place it very beautiful it is in the Hilton Hawaii Village and is a two floor spa. everyone is so nice and helpful. It really is the highlight of my day to be there. I had to be "shooed" away tonight because I did not want to leave when my shift was up. It's a good thing I found this internet Cafe to be able to vent and connect again. I miss everyone so much. I miss My boyfriend terribly and all my little nieces and nephews. I am really experiencing loneliness...(in a good way though) Many opportunities for soul searching and the such. On my day off I plan to sit myself in a cool well air conditioned theater and hop from movie to movie and shiver my happy little bones off. There is no mail service for guests at my hotel so I'll have to wait until I'm actually on board to start receiving snail mail from friends and family...oh well.....HUGS and KISSES to everyone...especially my Matador!!! |
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| DAM Fun weekend! |
[Oct. 8th, 2006|06:50 pm] |
My friend John and I did some shopping for his birthday on Friday. We hit Cherry Creek and the Mills...He was wanting to find some clothes that would match a pair of cuff links he received as a gift. I was telling him that there is no doubt that he is a gay man. Who else would try to build the outfit around the accessory?
Matthew came over later that night and I Made dinner for everyone. My first effort at roasting a chicken. It wasn't bad but I forgot to keep up with the basting. Next time I will perfect it.
Saturday Matthew and I headed out early to the Denver Art Museum's(DAM new opening. We got tickets for a 10 p.m. entrance. To kill time we had a late breakfast, did some shopping and then went to a bead shop to make some jewelry. I made my very first necklace ever, and I'm quite proud of it. It is made mostly of hematite with two glass "raindrop" beads and a Leaf center. I feel very "Pocahontas" wearing it. I then tagged along for a Committee meeting for Mile High Con. Both Rose and Matthew got free rooms for the weekend, which is such a bonus.
Ten o'clock rolled around and a group of us finally hit up the new Hamilton building of the Denver Art Museum. I enjoyed very much the artwork and exhibits but I found the building itself so disorienting. Poor Matthew seemed to have vertigo at times. We got home late, totally crashed and then had brunch today.
I'm so glad to be packing my weekends with so much right now because I'll be leaving soon for Hawaii. I need these memories to take along to tide me over until I come home again. |
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| Scent is a powerful thing indeed!!! |
[Oct. 3rd, 2006|07:19 pm] |
I took my friend Brian to the clinic this morning because his sciatica was acting up. After I dropped him off at home, I decided to go and check out a used book sale at Black and Read. I had already gone on Sunday with Matthew, but since I was already on the road I decided to pay another visit.
I only found one book, and I was desperate to find a few more, since they were only a quarter each. I was getting a bit restless digging through the same piles knowing that I must have missed something. Suddenly I swore to myself that I smelled Matthew. I peeked around to the opposite side of the bookcase, but no sign of him. I went around the whole store thinking that he must be here. It could have been someone else wearing the same cologne, but there was no one around aside from the clerk at the front. I'm sure SHE wasn't wearing men's cologne, and besides the smell was distinctly "Matthew". It seems my mind was playing tricks on me. Never have I been in a situation like this where my body and my senses have reacted so strongly to a passing sensation, a passing hope.
I am very clearly MAD about the boy!!!...I LOVE MISHALAK!!!
what a gushing "teenager" I have become.
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| B-DAY Week! |
[Oct. 2nd, 2006|03:41 pm] |
My birthday was last Tuesday, and boy did I have quite a week! Matthew came and picked me up to spend a few days with him. (Doing grunt work) but still it was time together. We were cutting down, and hauling wood around his parents property. (Who knew that he could wield a chainsaw so efficiently?) His mother made Lemon bars for my birthday which I thought was very sweet of her to do...also quite evil, since i ended up eating more than half the pan myself. When we came back into town we did some last minute shopping for my party with my roommate. After shopping we had dinner at Oshima Ramen an authentic Japanese noodle house. It was a little intimidating at first not knowing what to order but it helped that there was a limited menu selection. The food was tasty and I'm glad I finally went after hearing Matthew talk it up so much.
The next day was the big event...My Super Sweet Sixteen Pretty in Pink Party!!! It was an absolute blast! The theme as it suggests required everyone to wear pink to the party, and I was so pleased that everyone complied to the dress code. My friend Rose was kind enough to bring some buttons with the Phrases "Party Pink" and "Think Pink" which I passed out to those with minimal pink on. There was a little more than 30 people in attendance and I was so blown away with the love and energy that I received that night.
Sunday was brunch and a little browsing at the used book store and Today is recovery and relaxation. I think I should throw myself parties so much more often... "Oh the cleverness of Me!" |
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| The Aspen trees |
[Sep. 20th, 2006|08:20 am] |
So I have lived in Colorado for nearly all my life, and never once have I gone up to the mountains to see the Aspen leaves change. This past weekend Mishalak and I went through Gunilla pass, and it was absolutely breath taking. Why have I ignored it for all these years? The shades of yellow and gold and copper and even a sunburst red, were just incredible!
It was such a nice experience all around, as we had a simple picnic on a big boulder and looked over the splendour! A nice reminder of what Colorado has to offer and of what I have taken for granted.
A very sweet adventure that I will always remember. |
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| It's official |
[Sep. 7th, 2006|08:01 pm] |
I've gotten the call...and they want me.
I had no idea it would be so fast, but that's how it goes I guess. They actually offered me a Contract starting in Oct. but I couldn't handle that.( way too quick for me) So it's looking like a January outing to Hawaii!!! I have not yet confirmed a commitment to them but at least I know where they stand.
Wow...I'm predicting little sleep tonight, but It will be good to be back in my own bed tomorrow. |
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| Sigh of relief |
[Sep. 7th, 2006|09:27 am] |
I woke up this morning with such a big smile on my face...(no not that kind of smile). I was just relieved that my arduous interview is now behind me.
I had a 5 hour interview process last night for a job with the cruise ships, and I felt every minute of it. I arrived at the facility and was handed a stack of papers to fill out. going through the stack I came across a "trade test" which I had no I Idea I would be taking. I was certainly not prepared to do a written exam and started shaking like crazy. Luckily I went into autopilot mode and I believe I did well enough to pass. Crazy questions like identify the three components of the hair shaft did not phase me at all...Cuticle, Cortex, and Medulla. (bring It bitches!!!). After the paper work there was an hour long presentation to wet the appetite and entice us to come aboard. Public speaking followed and I did rather well with that. and then finally the practical and actual one on one interview. I liked how this was conducted because it was a good distraction from nerves to just talk while I worked. I had to do a Hair cut, Blow dry style, and glamorous up do.
I'm ready to go back home and see my friends and family and "puddin'"...It makes me wonder about home sickness but the wet ocean breezes and cheap booze may just be the cure, as opposed to the sulfur from the Salt Lake and a mormon church on every other block that I am surrounded by here.
I felt fearless and ready to take on the world....now we'll see if they want me and if I have the drive to be away from home for several months. |
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| regression |
[Sep. 5th, 2006|11:02 am] |
I am always taken aback by the little things that will trigger a person back into childhood.
My Mum and I arrived in Salt Lake City Ut. on Sunday and were picked up by my Aunt and cousin. On our way home we stopped by the grocery store for a few things, and immediately I was 10 again. I would spend random summers with my family here when I was a child and i can't believe how quickly the memories came rushing back. while I was pushing the Shopping cart, trailing my aunt and watching her throw random little goodies into the basket, i felt this euphoria like time stood still. She even went to the Ice Cream Isle. What a good Auntie.
I've had few moments like this that have been so powerful. Frozen Bananas, remind me of My first trip to Disney Land. The Smell of Cilantro, remind me of getting sick at my uncle's house. Dragonflies, remind me of the little fishing excursions I would take with my dad.
One can never plan on what things will bring back such bold memories, but I certainly enjoy the rush.
Well tomorow is the "BIG DAY" where I endure my 6 hour interview process. Time to get back into grown up mode again I guess. |
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| reoccurring Dreams. |
[Sep. 2nd, 2006|09:25 am] |
Reoccurring dreams are so peculiar.
I had quite a restless night last night. I had this dream which pops up again from time to time. I am in a Hotel in some bustling big city (New York-ish). I'm not a guest but I always get into the elevator and go somewhere I am not supposed to be. One time it was a random room. and last night it was this banquet being held on the top floor. I'm always anxious and know that I'm not supposed to be there...I just roam aimlessly around the Hotel Up and down the elevators hoping not to get caught.
I frequently have these dreams of not belonging or getting in the way.
either I am in a wedding where I don't know a single soul, Or I am at a department store helping a customer to no avail...even though I am not employed there....
Random incidents....or is there reason to this madness? Dreams are so freaky! |
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| Old Memories |
[Aug. 23rd, 2006|11:17 pm] |
It's funny the interesting things we come across when we are moving. I've been packing up some boxes and discovered an old notebook that I used to write poetry in. Amazingly with some of the poems I couldn't quite recall the specifics that prompted me to write, but the emotions were all there. Familiar and unfamiliar all at the same time.
Worth The Wait?
To wait is to weaken the spirit
To wait is robbery of the soul
Do not wait to be helped or to offer
Be bold and ask, seek and go
He who waits for friendship to come passing by his way,
will only see the weight of his heart grow cold, hardened and astray
Leave this path of waiting
Repeat it's patterns no more
Return to loving people
Love never keeps the score
A path is only worth the distance you are willing to go
Waiting will bring no results, but move forward and then you'll know
I say these things with love and longing, to once again be a friend
The only wait worth waiting for
Is for this wait to end.
Depression was often my muse. |
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| Bubonicon! |
[Aug. 23rd, 2006|12:26 am] |
Well it is official! I popped my cherry!!!
I have attended my very first "Con" and it was terrific!
Three days of complete Sci Fi/Fantasy immersion in Albuquerque. Apparently, as far as Conventions go this one is more on the smaller scale. Which was quite alright with me. I had so much sensory overload as it was with close to 500 in attendance, I can't even imagine 5,000.
I drove down from Denver with my friends Rose and "the Matador" ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) mishalak, and we all bunked up in the same room. from there it was "go, go, go"! It seemed that I was introduced to a new person around every corner. (Rose and Matthew have been at this for some years now). But it was so amazing to me how receptive and friendly everyone was.
The stress and insecurity of not having ever been, had quickly left me and I was able to melt in to the idea that I was actually going to have a good time. I went through all the rooms snooping about to see where I might test the waters, and sure enough the first panel discussion I attended was "Guilty Pleasures" And I happened to win for confessing my love of the Horrid movie Catwoman, staring Halle Berry. I found it both odd, and entertaining that we were actually discussing guilty pleasures at a SF convention ( Which to me would seem in itself a guilty pleasure?) It was quite revealing and all in all my favorite Panel that weekend. I learned that someone with the initials M.M. enjoys Velveeta and butter on his popcorn...mmmmm.
I, (in no particular order) won some movie swag, watched my very first episode of Dr. Who, Met amazing people, had my Tarot read, won a bid on a beautiful Litho, was taken out to dinner, nearly went swimming, ate tons of calorie loaded things, danced my arse off, sang a Britney song at Karaoke, witnessed Mishalak sing "Beat It", Painted my first miniature, got a little tipsy, spent great bonding time with my friends, saw a submarine house, was frightened by Darth Vader, waited way too long for an elevator, and participated in other various "unmentionable" activities.
It was such an amazing First Time and now I think I may be hooked. |
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| quiet time |
[Aug. 15th, 2006|09:11 pm] |
It's nice sometimes to just lounge around the house alone and do domestic things like laundry and cleaning. It certainly is a nice break from the running around and gay drama that I have had to deal with these past couple of days.
I spent some time with my "Gay Parents" (a gay couple that has taken it apon themselves to consider me their adopted son). I always have such a blast when I am with them, but it was a little much this time around. They had just moved and were in this big tizzy about getting everything around the house back in order. We must have run back and fourth between WalMart and Costco like ten times...no exaggeration. And on top of all the busy work, there was some tension and heightened emotions between them because of an Ex....
It seemed to me the easiest way to avoid this kind of drama is to keep an Ex off limits and out of the picture. regardless of the whole "just friends" thing or not.
I personally am not such a jealous person that I would try to restrict who My lover would have contact with, but out of respect for the relationship I think this will be the best remedy for them and their situation.
It certainly has given me a new perspective and appreciation on the give and take of a relationship...all in all it's good to be back home and back in my own bed tonight. I guess it just goes to show that one can only spend so much time with their parents (even the pretend ones) |
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| Changes! |
[Aug. 9th, 2006|11:16 pm] |
Things are in quite the whirlwind for me right now.
I have all these huge life changing choices to make...all by the end of the month.
I have an interview comming up to work in the salon/spa on cruise ships (which if I accept would take me away for at least 8 months).
I am also looking for local work in case this option doesn't pan out, or if I decide to turn it down.
My lease will be up, so I need to work out my living situation.
the biggest thing eating at me really is the Job on the cruise ships. It's a great opportunity and a "now or never" choice. But there is so much going on here right now that I'm not sure if I could leave it all in limbo. I suppose things will be here when I get back...but will I have the emotional stamina to be away?
Sleep and lots of advice are welcome thing at this current juncture....and perhaps some tea. |
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